Music of the Night
by Bard of Prey
Summary: Barbara, Dinah, and Helena consider their lives late one night.


The Music of the Night  
By Delphinios  
  
~~Helena Kyle~~  
  
Another sleepless night. How many did this make? Too many to count. Helena descended the stairs from her apartment above the Dark Horse Bar, making her way easily through the blackened room below. After all, cats were known for their night vision. She plucked a bottle from behind the counter, caring little about the brand or type on the label. She needed something to relax her. Tequila, Brandy, Rum...they were all the same when it came right down to it.  
  
Where was he? The thought crossed her mind, unwanted. She didn't like to think about her father often, if at all. She refused to admit that she ever did, even to Barbara. Still, she couldn't help letting her mind drift to him occasionally. Barbara talked about him like he was such a hero. So brave. So honorable. Then again, how could a brave and honorable man run away from the very city he had sworn to protect? How could a hero run away from his own daughter? That wasn't a hero. At least, not to her. A hero was someone who faced their fears, their grief. A hero was someone who didn't do what came easy, but who did what came hard. Like Barbara...and maybe, just maybe, like Helena herself.  
  
Helena's finger made a circuit around the lip of the glass as she considered this. Was she hero? She'd never thought of herself as one before. She'd never really done any of it to be a hero. What was her inspiration?   
  
She knew at least part of it was Barbara. The woman had shown her love, compassion, understanding when she had thought there could be no one left to love her in all the world. Barbara had shown her she was not alone. She didn't want to disappoint Barbara.   
  
Her mother, Selina, was another large part of what she did. Catwoman. She still found it hard to believe that her mother had ever possessed a side that lawless. Despite the side Helena had taken in this battle, she was sure her mother was proud of her.   
  
The last part, one of the largest, was her father. It didn't matter what Barbara said. It didn't matter that her father hadn't known of her existence. He'd left. At a time when she most needed comforting arms and loving words, he'd left. He'd abandoned her, and Helena would spend the rest of her life showing that man what he'd missed. She was beautiful and smart and funny and worth knowing, damn it!  
  
She downed the rest of her glass and put it away, once more mounting the stairs to her apartment. Laying in her bed, staring at the ceiling, Helena waited for the drink to make her sleep. Once again, her mind wandered.  
  
Someday, Bruce Wayne was going to come back to New Gotham. Batman would return. And, when he did, he was going to find that his daughter had kept the city safe in his absence. He would discover that the two women he had abandoned, his daughter Helena and his former friend and partner Barbara, were stronger than he could have ever hoped to be. He was going to see Helena, know she was something special, and know that he had missed out on her life. A single tear blazed a salty trail down Helena's cheek. She would never admit it to anyone, not even to herself. When Batman returned to Gotham, more than regret or shame or sorrow, she wanted to see him look on her with pride, because no matter how she felt about him, she was still her father's daughter.  
  
~~Dinah Lance~~  
  
Dinah looked out over New Gotham with the wide-eyed wonder only a young woman could express. It was late, much too late for her to be outside on the balcony in front of the clockface. If Barbara found her, she would not be pleased.  
  
At the moment, though, Dinah didn't care. Since her mother died, she'd spent many nights on the balcony in front of the clockface, just thinking. She'd been so angry with her mother for leaving her. She'd hated her for so long. Now, it seemed wrong to hate the dead.  
  
Her mother was dead. She swallowed hard, and fixed her gaze on the Northern Star. Steady. Unmoving. She hadn't cried. She hadn't shed even a tear since her mother died. Was she heartless? Was she cold? Was she as full of anger as Helena? Or, was she just in shock?  
  
Why had her mother abandoned her? She'd asked herself that question a hundred times. Had she done something wrong? Had she disobeyed too many times? Was it because she was different? Had her mother become tired of mothering? Dinah had blamed herself for so long...it was almost nice to know it wasn't her fault. It was her mother.  
  
Her mother had deserted her because she wanted to keep her safe, because she loved her. Dinah paused, her brow furrowing as she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. In the name of love, that was why her mother had left her in that horrible place. In the name of love, her mother had given away the child she'd carried for nine months. In the name of love, she'd kept herself distant from the little girl as she grew, hoping to save her from the pain the Black Canary's enemies could inflict. And, in the name of love, her mother had returned to bring her home...dying in the process.  
  
Understanding beyond Dinah's years descended on her with the fall of the star she had mistakenly thought was Polaris. Forgiveness was the hardest gift anyone could give. Could she forgive her mother for the pain and the loneliness? Dinah considered this and was surprised to feel something wet on her cheek. Slowly, she lifted a hand to wipe it away, staring at the moisture on her fingertips. There was her answer. A single tear.  
  
She'd finally cried. Dinah knew. She could forgive her mother, not because she deserved it. No, her mother didn't deserve forgiveness. So, Dinah would forgive her mother in the name of love.   
  
  
~~Barbara Gordon~~  
  
Barbara awoke in a cold sweat, beads of perspiration soaking through her nightshirt and into the satin sheets of her bed. It was always the same. No amount of therapy or sleeping pills or time could banish that memory from her thoughts or her nightmares. There would always be a reminder of her biggest mistake, a moment of weakness which had resulted in a disability that would forever rule her life. She could try to forget, but the feel of the chair would always be there, lingering in the back of her mind. She could only fool herself so long.  
  
Batgirl. It seemed a lifetime and a millenia ago. She prefered not to linger on the memories. She was so much like the bird in the gilded cage. Her wings had been clipped, and she had been forever imprisoned in metal, disguised to look as attractive as it could under the circumstances. But, no amount of gilding could hide what it was, a cage. She was forced to remain there, seated in her birdcage, watching as Dinah and Helena flew.  
  
Of course, she still had her strengths. Maybe she couldn't taste combat in quite the same way as she had in her younger days, but there was still work to be done. Her wings had been clipped, but her mind was untouched, and that had always been her most powerful weapon.  
  
Slowly, she made the muscles in her body relax and laid back against the sweat dampened sheets. For months after the Joker stole her legs from her, she had wallowed in self pity and self doubt. In the end, it had been Alfred who finally made her realize that to let the self pity continue was to let the Joker have a greater victory than the one he already claimed. To simply sit down in her chair and watch the world pass her by would be to give the Joker the final laugh. She couldn't do that. Alfred knew exactly which button to push, and he'd done it at exactly the right time.   
  
So, maybe she was no longer Batgirl...looking back, that had been slightly degrading, anyway. She was, after all, her own woman. She was smart, ingenius, and tougher than even she had known. She didn't need to live in the shadow of the Bat. Not anymore. Now, she was a hero in her own right, a hero in many more ways than Batgirl could have ever been. She was NOT disabled, because to say she was disabled would be to say that she no longer worked. She worked, perhaps better now than before. She was the Oracle, and the villains of Gotham would rue the day the Joker awakened her to that fact. He had locked her body in a gilded cage, but he had set her mind free to ride the wind. 


End file.
